Gareth Williams: The Outsider

Torchwood: Children of Earth was one of the best things I’ve ever seen on TV. Which came as something of a surprise to me because the first two series (or seasons, if you prefer) were somewhat ‘hit-or-miss’ for me. But Children of Earth was in a different class; it was a triumph of television SF drama, and the realisation of the Torchwood concept’s full potential.

Except - as is now sadly very clear - it wasn’t.

Children of Earth was an aberration. So good in so many ways, damn near perfect in fact, it’s almost impossible in the wake of Torchwood: Miracle Day not to view it now as some kind of wonderful accident. Because Torchwood: Miracle Day was a disaster; tedious, drawn-out, melodramatic nonsense.

I remember when it was first announced that Children of Earth would be a five episode mini-series, broadcast over one week. It seemed like a lot of people felt the BBC was somehow diminishing or disrespecting the show. In retrospect, I think we all agree it was a masterstroke. When it seemed like maybe the BBC wasn’t interested in doing anymore Torchwood after that, people - myself included - were understandably annoyed. Now I wonder if perhaps Auntie Beeb didn’t have the right idea. Maybe it would have been better to leave the show alone after CoE, go out on a high. What could top it?

Thankfully, in stepped the US network Starz who wanted to bring Torchwood back. Miracle Day would be 10 episodes, based in the States and co-produced by Starz and the BBC. Torchwood was back! Cue excitement! Yes, some people had misgivings about the American involvement, but Russell T Davies was still overseeing it as showrunner, so how different could it really be? Much like Captain Jack himself, Torchwood was resurrected and after the highs of CoE, and upon hearing the central concept at the heart of Miracle Day, it was very hard not to get excited.

Somewhere over the Atlantic, something went very wrong.

I’m not going to blame the ‘Americanisation’ of Torchwood for Miracle Day being such a mess. That’s too simplistic, and not a little naive. It’s as bad in its own way as the people (some might call them apologists, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt) who appeared online within moments of the first episode airing and tried to deflect criticism by questioning how much of it was coming purely from the fact that the show was now being made in - and largely by - the US.

I’ve got no time for either one of those arguments. Most of the TV shows I watch are American, so adding Torchwood to that list didn’t bother me one jot, especially as the same man was running things as when it was made over here. Nor will I place all the blame for the show’s failures (and make no mistake, I definitely view it as a failure) on Starz or the US-setting.

Let’s be honest, though - it certainly didn’t help, either, did it? Jack and Gwen were relegated to supporting roles in their own show for nearly the entire duration whilst the focus shifted to new characters Rex and Esther. This was bad enough in itself, but that these characters were so one-note and annoying didn’t help matters. Rex spent so much time calling the Torchwood team “lame” or “amateur” you had to wonder if there was some subtextual thing going on. And if I had to sit through one more scene of Esther simpering away over some damn thing, I might have thrown myself off somewhere high. And now that the whole debacle is over and done with, can someone explain to just what the point of Oswald or Jilly’s storylines were? Or even what the point of their characters were?

Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not blaming the actors. They all did the best they could with the material they were given. It’s just a shame what they were given was so unremittingly dull.

I think we were all sold on the idea that a US-based Torchwood, both in reality and on the show, would take all the strong storytelling elements of CoE and give it a bigger playground and American production values. But rather than the ‘Torchwood-in-America’ I thought we were getting, it felt more and more like someone trying to do an American remake of Torchwood. And that’s not better.

The worst part of it all was that it became very clear very quickly that ten episodes was too many. The pacing of the entire series was shot to buggery. Episode after episode went by and I kept waiting for things to kick into gear, only they never did. It was apparent very early on that the show was deliberately stalling to try and drag things out longer. If ever there was an argument that twice the episodes does not equal twice the story, then Miracle Day was it. Nowhere was this more apparent than in the final episode. What exactly happened in that episode? They went into some underground bunkers, spilled some blood into a big hole, and went to a funeral.

This took ONE DAMN HOUR to get through.

The rest was all of Torchwood’s worst excesses writ large: endless speechifying, over-wrought melodrama, ridiculous editing, inconsistent characterisation. Where Children of Earth managed - for the most part - to reign these in, Miracle Day let rip with wild abandon.

To say that Miracle Day was a disappointment doesn’t even begin to cover it. The writers not only took a truly great and intriguing story and squandered it, but they did so in such a way that I fear they’ve done serious - maybe even irreparable - damage to to the Torchwood ‘brand.’

After the last series, I couldn’t wait for more Torchwood. After this one, I’m not sure I ever want it to come back.